Written by Katie Jackson-Griffin, LCPC
Life has a way of throwing curveballs at you from time-to-time, which can be very distressing. The natural human response is to experience stress, anxiety, sadness, and potentially even anger when these things occur. All emotions are a normal part of going through challenging experiences. Despite the difficulties you may go through, resilience can help you live your life with a healthy and determined outlook.
Resilience can be defined as the ability for a person to withstand stressful and difficult circumstances, without experiencing long-lasting negative effects. It is an important part of a person’s overall well-being. You may know people who have gone through a lot, but still seem to be thriving. These are the people that have a high degree of resilience. The ability to be resilient develops as a result of many things: experiences early on in life, how a person was raised, the people a person interacts with, and even genetics. However, resilience is not a fixed trait in people; resilience can be learned!
Resilience is an important quality to have in a variety of circumstances beyond when something “bad” happens. When an individual can be resilient, they are able to navigate life transitions and changes with a more helpful attitude and increased ability to be flexible when things seem uncomfortable or stressful.
Navigate Life Transitions with More Resilience
Habits to Make You Resilient
There are many ways to build resilience. Practice is important! Here are 5 habits you can incorporate to build resilience.
1. Approach mistakes and challenges as opportunities to learn.
Often when mistakes are made, shame-based thoughts can come up. However, putting yourself down is only going to make the situation worse. When universal statements like “I’m the worst” or “I always mess this up” are emphasized, it doesn’t give any opportunity to make a change. This can be very defeating. Instead, you can work to view the mistake as a chance to do things differently. You can hold yourself accountable while also considering what you have control over. For example, statements like “I wish I had done that differently. Next time I want to slow down” can be much more effective. Providing yourself with hope that you can change can make a big difference!
2. Prioritize self-care daily.
Self-care has so many benefits. Maintaining a lower stress level on a daily basis can allow you to respond more effectively when an uncomfortable or crisis situation happens. If you are operating at a higher level of stress, it can be difficult to take on any more stress. Often, this appears when minor inconveniences or frustrations elicit a big emotional reaction. This can be avoided by reducing your baseline stress level. For daily self-care, you may want to consider it as a multivitamin. You can do preventative work to allow you to cope more effectively in the future. Self-care looks different for everyone! Small steps every day can make a huge impact. You might try going for a short walk, deep breathing, meditation, or doing activities that you enjoy.
3. Accept the fact that discomfort is a natural part of the human experience.
While it is hard to be uncomfortable, it is natural to experience it. Often, the urge is to get the feeling to go away as fast as possible. While tempting, this doesn’t allow much opportunity for growth. Ways you can practice sitting with discomfort include:
-Utilize mantras such as “I don’t like this feeling and I can tolerate it.”
-Schedule time to release your emotions by crying, singing loudly, and/or journaling.
-Use your senses to self-soothe: light a candle, wrap up in a warm blanket, or listen to calming music.
Embracing your emotions and focusing on comfort can allow you to honor your feelings fully. When you tolerate and move through your emotions, you can then plan a way to move forward.
4. Stay determined even when the outcome of a situation appears grim.
It can be a challenge when you feel that you’re losing hope or stamina. However, you don’t have to know the outcome of a situation. It is even less effective to try and predict how something will go. Instead, put your energy towards remaining persistent. You have control over your behavior and how you approach a situation even if you don’t have much control over the outcome. Work to trust yourself to manage whatever outcome does arise. You’re building strength when you practice these habits, and the resilience will come!
5. If something goes wrong, show yourself compassion. You will bounce back much faster.
Kindness and compassion can be very useful when it comes to healing and moving forward. They can be powerful motivators instead of using shame. Shame can cause disengagement and a continued cycle of negative thinking. A quick tip to show yourself more compassion and build resilience is to consider how you would respond to a friend who made the same mistake. Likely, you would be kind and supportive, not harsh. You deserve the same treatment!
Each of these habits cannot exist on its own. Building resilience is all about learning as you go and developing your “resilience toolbox.” The more you focus on being determined to work through difficult situations rather than give up, your level of resilience will grow. Life will always be challenging at one time or another. This is a fact. However, you can still experience happiness and satisfaction in life, despite tough situations that test your resilience.
Restorative Counseling is Here for You
Have you gone through a difficult situation that has negatively impacted your life satisfaction? Are you looking for additional ways to improve your resilience? If this sounds like you, go to our website and schedule an appointment to find out how the team at Restorative Counseling can tailor treatment to your specific needs so that you can navigate life with a healthier outlook.
Hi, I’m Katie!
I use HAES and DBT approaches to help people overcome their challenges with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Read more about me.
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